Got a thing for spiders? Or just need a laugh? You’re in the right place. This list packs over 130 spider puns and jokes. They’re short, silly, and sure to stick. We’re talking web jokes, leg jokes, bug jokes—you name it. Great for a party, a text, or just killing time. No need to love spiders. Just bring your sense of humor. Ever laugh at a spider? No? Well, that’s about to change. These jokes are fast, funny, and easy to share. A few might even make you groan. That’s part of the charm.
Spidey fans, you’re covered too. We threw in nods to pop culture, cartoons, and that famous web-slinger in red. So scroll down, pick a favorite, and share it. One warning: once you start, it’s hard to stop. These jokes will wrap you up quick—like a bug in a web.
Funny Spide Puns, Jokes, Instagram Captions and One Liner
Funny Spider Puns
- I asked my spider to help clean, and now I live in a silk palace.
- My spider therapist said I need to stop getting entangled in toxic webs.
- That spider’s a real overachiever—he spun a resume and a dating profile.
- I tried to ghost my spider ex. He just built a WiFi signal in the corner.
- Spider at brunch: “I’ll have the fly-over special, no drama on the side.”
- My spider friend is starting a podcast—“Caught in Conversation.”
- I joined a spider book club. We only read tangled plotlines.
- Don’t trust a spider who says “no strings attached.”
- A spider invited me to dinner. I’m 90% sure I was the dinner.
- My spider’s love language? Quality web time.
- Tried to argue with a spider. He just kept spinning circles around me.
- That spider is a minimalist—eight shoes, no baggage.
- When a spider says he’s “just hanging out,” assume emotional traps.
- I asked a spider for life advice. He said, “Weave it till you make it.”
- Spider on a first date: “I don’t usually bite, but I could.”
- The spider DJ dropped a new mix—“Trap Beats & Tangles.”
- My spider’s a romantic. He’s into candlelight… and immobilizing hugs.
- Bought a spider calendar. It’s just 365 pictures of corners.
- The spider’s autobiography is titled “Legs, Lies & Ladders.”
- Caught my spider Googling: “How to ghost-proof a web.”
- My spider is a control freak—wants eight remotes.
- Spider yoga is just advanced hanging and pretending you’re fine.
- Spiders make great party guests—always bringing the threads.
- I texted my spider “wyd” and he said “luring.”
- That spider’s got drip—silk on silk on silk.
Funny Spider Jokes
- What’s a spider’s favorite romantic comedy? You’ve Got Web.
- Why don’t spiders use smartphones They can’t stand all the pop-up flies.
- How does a spider start a motivational speech? Let’s stick together!”
- Why did the spider become a therapist? He was great at helping people untangle their issues.
- What’s a spider’s favorite workout? Cross-fit. As in cross every room real fast.
- What did the spider say after getting ghosted? Guess she wasn’t ready to commit to the web.
- Why did the spider get kicked out of the bar? He kept spinning tall tales.
- How do spiders flirt? Hey babe, want to get caught in something… complicated?
- What’s a spider’s idea of fast food? Anything that flies into their mouth mid-conversation.
- Why don’t spiders write novels? Too many plot threads, never enough closure.
- Why did the spider go to therapy? To get over his fear of commitment… to corners.
- What’s a spider’s least favorite weather? A web warning.
- Why was the spider a terrible roommate? Everything was covered in trap receipts.
- What did the spider name his startup? Spindr: For when you’re ready to connect.
- How do spiders shop online? With their web browser, obviously.
- What’s a spider’s dream job? Casting director.
- Why don’t spiders make good liars? They get caught in their own threads.
- What did the spider say at karaoke? I’m gonna weave you speechless.
- Why did the spider get detention? Caught networking in class.
- What’s a spider’s favorite pickup line? You must be a fly, ’cause you’ve got me stuck on you.
- Why do spiders hate mornings? They’re always hitting the snooze web.
- What’s a spider’s favorite app? Insta-net.
- Why did the spider break up with his girlfriend? She had too much baggage… eight tiny purses.
- Why did the spider join the circus? For the tightrope gig. Already had the legs.
- What do you call a spider with commitment issues? Single, and threading carefully.
Spider Puns for Instagram
- Just a spider trying to spin her way to stardom.
- Spider vibes: soft silk, sharp fangs, no apologies.
- Spider in the streets, spinner in the sheets.
- My spider aesthetic? Dark, dramatic, corner-dwelling.
- This spider doesn’t chase—she attracts (and then wraps).
- I didn’t wake up like this—I spidered into it.
- Caught in a spider phase. It’s not a phase.
- Spider energy only: low-key lurking, high-key judging.
- Why walk when you can spider-slink into the room?
- Hanging by a thread, but make it glam 💅🧵
- My threads are tighter than my deadlines 🕸️⏰
- This glow-up? Natural silk, darling 🌟🕷️
- Flirting? I’m more into entanglements 😉🕸️
- I don’t chase—I attract. And trap. And wrap. 💅🪤
- Legs for days and sass for weeks 💃🕷️
- You could say I’m caught up in myself 🕸️😌
- Creepy? No. Creatively misunderstood 🖌️🕷️
- I came, I spun, I conquered 👑🕸️
- Web-tastic and tragically single 💔🕷️
- Mood: don’t touch my silk 😤🧶
- Just hanging out. Literally. 🧍♀️🧵
Give it a quick look: 70+ Funny Otter Puns and Jokes: The Otter Side of Humor
Short Spider Puns
- Web-slingin’ and chillin’.
- Spinning out of control.
- Caught feelings… and flies.
- Just vibin’ on the web.
- Eight legs, zero patience.
- Thread it and regret it.
- Not shy—just leg-endary.
- Bite me, gently.
- Fang you very much.
- Arachn-nope.
- My ex? Total bug.
- Trap queen.
- Silk flex.
- Creep it cute.
- I’m tangled, not toxic.
- Too fly to swat.
- I web what I want.
- Built different… with eight knees.
- On thin silk.
- The spinner you warned me about.
- I don’t weave. I wow.
- Stay in your thread.
- Leggy and lethal.
- Don’t test my web.
- Just hanging around.
One Liner Spider Puns
- I told my spider roommate to clean—now I’m stuck in a passive-aggressive web trap.
- Spiders don’t believe in luck, just calculated entanglement.
- That spider’s in a band—he’s the lead webtarist.
- If you ghost a spider, he’ll just build a new haunt.
- Tried to impress a spider with dad jokes—he said “don’t thread on me.”
- The spider’s memoir was eight chapters—each leg had a story.
- Spiders don’t cheat, they strategically entrap.
- My spider has an Etsy—sells bespoke silk chaos.
- I asked for space and my spider built a duplex in the corner.
- If a spider sends you a “u up?” text, run.
- That spider’s a life coach—told me to embrace the mess I wove.
- She said she wanted a boyfriend, not a bug with boundary issues.
- My therapist said to cut toxic ties—my spider roommate cried for hours.
- Spiders are great listeners—they’re always hanging on your every word.
- My spider joined a pyramid scheme—selling web-based products, obviously.
- Caught a spider writing slam poetry—rhymed “arachnid” with “tragic.”
- You can’t ghost a spider. They live for awkward silences.
- That spider’s been ghosting me since October—classic seasonal fling.
- He said he’s not into labels, but he owns eight Doc Martens.
- The spider’s dating profile said “clingy, but in a good way.”
- If I had eight legs, I’d be late to everything too.
- The spider invited me to brunch—served freshly wrapped drama.
- She spins silk and excuses in equal measure.
- Found a spider journaling about her web of lies.
- That spider’s a minimalist—just her, her thoughts, and 47 flies.
Spider Puns Funny Captions
- Just your local spider-queen doing her web thing 👑🕷️
- Feeling spider-licious and venomously cute today 💋🕷️
- Spider vibes only—creepy, clingy, and kinda cute 😈🕸️
- Caution: high levels of spider-confidence ahead 🚨🕷️
- Spider-approved outfit: eight legs, zero chill 🦵✨
- My spider senses say… I look 🔥 today 🧠🕷️
- A little spider drama keeps life interesting 🎭🕸️
- Spider by day, webfluencer by night 💻📸
- This look? 100% spider-certified slay 🧶🔥
- Caught in a spider-mood—sticky but stylish 🕸️💅
- My ex said I’m intense. I said “just spider things” 💔🕷️
- Spider energy: clingy, calculated, and stunning 👀🧵
- I came, I saw, I spidered 👣🕷️
- Every day is a spider runway when you strut like this 💃🕸️
- Spider-powered and people-avoidant 💥🚫
- I bring the silk and the sass—spider-certified 💅🧶
- When in doubt, spider it out 🕷️🧘♀️
- Just a spider trying to keep her web together 😵🕸️
- Spider goals: decorate corners and avoid humans 🙅♀️🏡
- This is your daily dose of spider slayage 🕷️⚡
- Spider senses tingling… must be the drama 👂🎭
- Spider, but make it high fashion 👠🧵
- Not lost—just caught in my spider thoughts 💭🕸️
- Spider chic: 80% silk, 20% attitude 😤🧶
- Hanging out like a true spider star ⭐🧵
Conclusion
That’s the list. Over 130 spider jokes to make you smile, groan, or both. Use them for captions, chats, or random laughs. Keep them handy—you never know when you’ll need one. Thanks for sticking around. Even if spiders creep you out, a good joke can change that. Laughter makes even the weird stuff fun. Now go share a pun. Or better yet—spin your own. Keep the laughs coming—stay with NetPuns for more!
Winston Zhang is the co-founder of Net Puns. With a deep love for language and creativity, Winston partnered with Angus Tucker to build a platform that spreads laughter through clever puns and wordplay.