130+ Bagel Puns and Jokes: A Hole New Level of Fun

Welcome to 130+ Bagel Puns and Jokes: A Hole New Level of Fun! If you’re a fan of wordplay and warm, toasty bagels, you’re in the right place. This collection is filled with deliciously cheesy jokes, clever puns, and dough-lightful humor that’s sure to make you smile. Whether you’re spreading laughter at brunch or just need a quick giggle, these bagel-inspired laughs are baked to perfection. Let’s roll into the fun!

Funny Bagel Puns, Jokes, One Liner and Instagram Caption

Funny Bagel Puns

• You’re my everything, just like my bagel.
• Bagel me up before you go-go.
• I doughnut know what I’d do without my bagel.
• Bagel to the future!
• This is how we roll – with bagels.
• Holy schmear! That’s a good bagel.
• Lox, schmear, action: Bagel edition.
• I’m on a roll – a bagel roll.
• Bagel it till you make it.
• You’re the hole in my bagel.
• Bagelicious, definition: make those taste buds go loco.
• Don’t worry, bagel happy.
• Life’s tough, but bagels are tougher.
• Spreading joy one bagel at a time.

• In crust we trust – especially if it’s bagel crust.
• Keep calm and bagel on.
• Schmear today, gone tomato.
• No pain, no grain – especially if it’s in a bagel.
• Bagel therapy: carbs and calm.
• That’s how the bagel crumbles.
• Hole-y moly, it’s a bagel!
• Bagel vibes only.
• You’re un-bagel-ievably cute.
• You’re the lox to my bagel.
• Let’s bagel-dazzle this brunch.

Funny Bagel Jokes

• Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many inner holes to fill.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good schmear-it beat!
• Why don’t bagels like scary movies? They can’t handle the lox of sleep.
• How do bagels flirt? They give you a schmear and a wink.
• What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel!
• Why did the bagel break up with the croissant? It felt too flakey.
• What do you call a group of musical bagels? A jam session!
• Why did the bagel get promoted? It rose to the occasion.
• How do bagels stay in shape? With lots of hole-y yoga.
• What did one bagel say to the other at brunch? “You complete me… with cream cheese.”
• What do you call a bagel with attitude? A roll model.
• Why did the bagel go to art school? It wanted to learn how to schmear creatively.

• How did the bagel win the race? It was on a roll!
• Why don’t bagels ever get lost? They always follow their lox-ation.
• What’s a vampire’s favorite bagel? One with garlic schmear.
• Why are bagels bad at poker? Too many tells — and seeds!
• What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Lox-rosse!
• What happens when a bagel tells a joke? It gets a hole lot of laughs.
• Why don’t bagels use dating apps? They don’t knead the drama.
• What’s a bagel’s favorite social media app? Insta-grain!
• Why did the bagel become a life coach? It believed in whole-some guidance.
• What did the detective bagel say? “Something’s a-bread!”
• Why did the bagel join the band? It had great rolls on the drums.
• What does a bagel wear to impress? Its best lox.
• Why did the bagel get detention? It couldn’t stop loafing around.

Quick check: 130+ Funny Train Puns and Jokes: Routes of Humor

Bagel Puns for Instagram

• Feelin’ hole-some with my bagel today 🥯❤️
• Bagel goals and schmear dreams 🥯✨
• No worries, just bagel vibes 🥯😎
• My circle of trust = just bagels 🥯🫶
• You had me at bagel 🥯😍
• Serving lox of looks today 🥯👀🐟
• Just a bagel babe in a gluten-filled world 🥯💅
• I’m on a roll… a bagel roll 🥯🏃‍♀️💨
• Everyday I’m schmearin’ 🥯🎶🧀
• Life’s better with a bagel in hand 🥯🙌
• Dough you wanna be my bagel? 🥯💘
• Holy schmear, I love carbs 🥯🔥
• Spreading joy one bagel at a time 🥯🥰

• Just loafing around with my bagel 🥯😴
• Bagel game: toasted and flawless 🥯🔥💅
• This bagel has me in a brunch trance 🥯🌀🍳
• Some like it hot, I like it bagel 🥯🔥😋
• Hole-y moly, this bagel is good 🥯😱
• Don’t be jelly, get your own bagel 🥯😏🍓
• One bite and I’m bagel-essed 🥯🙏
• The only drama I enjoy is in my lox 🥯🎭🐟
• Rise, grind, and bagel 🥯💪🌅
• It’s a bagel kind of mood 🥯🧘‍♀️💭
• This is how we brunch—with bagels 🥯🍳🎉
• Carbs don’t ask questions. Bagels just love you 🥯💞

Short Bagel Puns

• Lox and bagel, baby.
• You’re un-bagel-ievable.
• Schmear happens.
• Bagel me up!
• Bagelicious vibes.
• Holy bagel!
• Get in my bagel zone.
• No bagel, no gain.
• Bae-gel alert.
• Bagel me softly.
• Brunch? Bagel it.
• Schmear joy.
• You’re my butter half.

• Bagel, set, go!
• Just plain bagelful.
• In crust we trust.
• All you knead is bagel.
• Whole lotta bagel love.
• Stay toasted.
• Bagel goals.
• Roll with it.
• Just add schmear.
• Crumb and get it.
• Mornings are bagellicious.
• Let’s get this bagel.

One Liner Funny Bagel Puns

• Bagel lovers do everything hole-heartedly.
• My love life is basically just me and a bagel.
• I’m in a committed relationship—with carbs and bagels.
• The only hole I need in my life is in a bagel.
• I tried to be gluten-free… but the bagel won.
• Bagels: the official food of my emotional support system.
• A bagel a day keeps the sadness away.
• That awkward moment when you realize your soulmate is a bagel.
• If life gives you lemons, trade them for a bagel.
• I don’t knead negativity, just bagels.
• Feeling empty? Eat a bagel. It has a hole too.
• All rise for the bagel, the true king of carbs.
• My brain says gym, but my heart screams bagel.

• Bagels are the reason I believe in round miracles.
• I have mixed fillings—cream cheese and jalapeño.
• Bagels: the most delicious way to feel full of nothing.
• Keep your circle tight and your bagel tighter.
• I’m toast without my morning bagel.
• I only trust people who pronounce “bagel” correctly.
• Bagels don’t judge, they just schmear.
• Bagel me once, shame on you. Bagel me twice, brunch forever.
• I’ve reached my bagel potential. It’s all downhill from here.
• Bagels—proof that round things bring happiness.
• Bagel today, regret nothing tomorrow.
• Don’t mind me, just doing hole-some things.

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Bagel Puns Funny Captions

• Just another day in carb paradise 🥯🌴
• Bagel mood: toasted and thriving 🥯🔥😎
• No better circle of trust than a bagel 🥯🫶
• Bagel up, buttercup 🥯🌼
• Feelin’ hole-some and full 🥯💖
• Schmear me up, I’m going in 🥯🧀😋
• If bagels are wrong, I don’t wanna be right 🥯🚫✔️
• Serving lox of bagel looks today 🥯👑🐟
• Sunday brunch? Bagel mandatory 🥯🍳☀️
• Bringing the heat and the bagel 🥯🔥☕
• Bagel power: fully activated 🥯⚡💪
• Hole lotta love for this bite 🥯💘
• Bagels > Problems 🥯✅
• Just add bagel, and the day’s fixed 🥯🛠️😊

• Living that toasted life 🥯🔥✨
• Bagel: the MVP of my morning 🥯🏆🌞
• Today’s forecast: 100% chance of bagel 🥯🌤️
• Dough it up, it’s bagel time 🥯⏰
• Can’t stop, won’t stop bagelin’ 🥯💃
• This outfit was inspired by a bagel: fresh and everything 🥯👗🧂
• Bagel queen 👑🥯
• One bite closer to happiness 🥯😊
• Toast me, I’m famous 🥯📸
• Schmear squad assemble 🥯🧀👯‍♀️
• Bagel goals, every day of the week 🥯📅

Conclusion

We hope these bagel puns and jokes gave you a hearty laugh and maybe even left you craving a bite. Humor, like a fresh bagel, is best when shared—so pass these jokes around and keep the smiles rising. Whether you’re a seasoned pun lover or just bagel-curious, there’s always room for more fun. Thanks for joining us on this hole-some journey. Until next time, stay toasty and punny!. NetPuns is Taking Off! Get in Early!